Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
