IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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