what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
