Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
