Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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