we have pet lesbian snakes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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