i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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