just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
