when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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