Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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