Dual....:-)
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
