it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
