I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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