Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
