well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no you cant smoke seaweed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
