first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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