i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Even my vagina gasped.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
