Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
