I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
