No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
