I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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