did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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