brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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