woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize