Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
