We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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