Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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