Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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