wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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