If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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