Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize