some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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