The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The power of my boobs compel you
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
