For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
