He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
