ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
