No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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