and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
