this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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