I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
