My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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