have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
