i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
