Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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