Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
