"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
