Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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