Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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