am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
