things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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