Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize