he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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