did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
