Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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