id be glad to
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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