i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
