Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
