Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
