just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize