I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
