please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize